Questions of a Soldier
Day to day walking through life
Heartache, pain, trouble and strife
I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again
Burdened by trouble, tempted by sin
Not of riches, wealth or gold
But of darkness, oh, so cold
You can run, but you just can’t hide
As you’re being beaten by the tide
As David said” my steps had well neigh slipped”
As you’re looking for that Ol’ Gospel Ship
The scripture says “just stand”
When you feel you need a helping hand
When you feel you need a helping hand
Every one around is doin’ so good
When all you think is “I wish I could”
You go to church, you pay your tithes
Then everything you try, is just not your size
You cry, you scream, you moan and groan
You’ve lost it all, including your home
“I think I can” is what you say
But it gets harder from day to day
You are the most blessed in the land
Although you feel you’re in quick-sand
Roof over your head, shoes on your feet
Food on the table and God’s word to eat
Guess you know you’re in a storm
Why else are you so torn?
You know there are things for you to do
Hold on as God pulls you through
Your mind is scattered, you just can’t see
Why is all of this happening to me
You dare not question, nor do you judge
For God has been so good to me
Not what I was, but what could be
Mercy and grace so does shine
Which didn’t cost a single dime
The price was paid long, long ago
Why he loved me I’ll never know
But since he did, to him I owe
Where he leads I will go
- JW 8/98
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Soldiers Last Will
As the Dragon wages war within my head
Keep fighting I must, lest I’ll surely be dead
The battle rages, casualties are high
Keep fighting I must or else I’ll die
The fire is raging, the end is near
Reach out to those that are so dear
The time has come for the battle to end
I pray to reach out to one more friend
A captain or general is not my goal
For all I want, is reach one lost soul
I look back on my life, as how I used to be
And just how the MASTER set me free
As I write this letter to you at home
I send my love, for soon I’ll be traveling on
As I look across the field to the blood that is shed
To the ones I’ve loved and lost and now are dead
Answers to questions seem lost and not at bay
When I struggle for them from day to day
The power is there to win the war
If I only knew how to open the door
The KJV is there in my hand
It’s my map to the Promised Land
So many things run through my head
The only rest I’ll get is when I’m dead
To sort these codes and figures out
Sometimes leaves me in a world of doubt
Of what to think or what to say
Weight me down from day to day
“You can’t save the world” one man said
But all I see is my friend, who now is dead
I felt the heat of the battle and I even heard him cry
But all I did is just watch him die
One man I met while on the field
Only played the cards that were dealed
I heard the orders to advance the line
But I doubted myself and didn’t make it in time
Two gone down and gone for good
Could have been saved.. Yes, yes they could
Who is next I might say
Weights me down from day to day
The third is one that is so dear
She is one from yester year
Never heard the scream, not even the blast
Now all that is left is what’s in the past
It’s a fight to the death, race against time
Which is it, their soul or mine?
I’m tired and ragged, battered and worn
I’m just waitin’ to hear that horn
One last shot, one more time
I have to stay on the firing line
So friend of mine that is so dear
Head these words than you hear
For once I’m gone I’ll not can say
Cause I will be in a deep, dark grave
So sinner hear me when I say
“Fall down on your knees and pray”
- JW 1998
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[Please understand that when I write somethings it may not be a literal meaning, but it might be figuratively. When I speak of being doped up on pills, that is not a literal meaning. I was NOT some pill-head]
What A Friend
Day to day walking through life
Heartache, pain, trouble and strife
Well here I am to fight once again
But this fight is not, one of sin
I’m here to walk a different road
Keep fighting I must or so I’m told
I’m not here to fuss or to complain
It’s just that my body is riddled with pain
Words are hard to think of, now these days
When you’re doped up on pills, you’re just in a haze
Work and errands have become such a chore
As your ol’ adversary beats down your door
A fighter you are, give up you can’t
Are some of the words you continually chant
Where do I go, what do I do
I feel cooped up, caged in a zoo
But I know the ONE whose helped me before
He’s right there beside me as I walk the floor
Oh what a friend, he’s been there for me
For he proved his love…
Nailed to a tree
J.W. 5\16\00
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[Please dont judge me by this next one. I was in a LOW place in my life. In three months from the night I wrote this, I allowed depression to pull me from church. I am hesitatant to publish, BUT, I am in hopes that someone can relate and know they are not alone!!]
Just Ready to Go
Day to day here on this earth
Wishing for the day I was never given birth
Tired of the fight, canceling my dreams
No more plans, no more schemes
Jokes have stopped, don’t care if you know
Tired of this world; just ready to go
Dreamed of the day I could raise a son
Now It doesn’t matter, I’ll never have one
Where is my wife, I’ll never know
It doesn’t matter, I’m just ready to go
Helped I’ve tried, succeeded I’ve not
Some to their grave, or “3 hots & a cot”
Stressed to the max, can’t take any more
Wrapped in a ball in the corner of the floor
Living a life of sorrow and pain
Of the Hell I’ve lived but a Heaven to gain
Done my best to help every one
Just not enough for my fathers son
Charge me if you must; disown me too
A life of charades I’ve lived for all of you
Never been happy in this world of sin
Angel of Mercy, Where have you been?
Never asked for wealth, happy to be “ unknown”
All I ever wanted is some happiness of my own
Lived my life the best I could
Didn’t always do the things I should
On the backside of nowhere on my way to Hell
When Jesus touched my heart, to my knees I fell
If tomorrow never comes, I write this today
In hopes you’ll here me when I say
“ This world is not my home, I’m justa’ passin through
My treasures are laid up some where beyond the blue
The angels beckon me from Heavens open door
Cause I’ll never be bound by this world anymore!
JW 10\19\00
“On God’s word I’ll stand, and dare not budge”
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WELL, WELL, WELL
Well, well , well… how are you?
Are you free, or caged in a zoo?
As for me, I am well,
Doin’ my best to refrain from Hell.
Life is grand and I can’t complain,
All I see is sunshine; even in the rain,
Here I am to write to you today,
In hopes you’ll understand what I say.
Let the world rant and even misbehave,
Try you must but all you cant save.
It’s not the words sometimes you say,
But the LIGHT inside you that leads the way.
That opens their eyes to a life of change,
Once you’re here, its not so strange.
A cult they’ve accused and said we are,
But peace we have, if not tomorrow.
Rich we’re not; at least in their eyes,
But we’re not dependant upon empty lies.
Lies that are told by Satan himself,
Selling them things not on his shelf.
It hurts to see them so empty and bare,
But they turn away from them that care.
You once were there where they are now,
Pray and fast and they’ll see how.
To find their way home you wait and see,
For this prodigal son once was me.
J.W. 4-19-08
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I Call Him Friend
Day to Day Walking thru Life
Heartache, Pain, Trouble, and Strife
Back Up Back Up, I beg you my friend
Is that life,... and then the end?
No, I say that’s only half
Report on the sorrow and never the laugh?
What of the sunset or the dawn of the day
What of April flowers or vacation in May
The birth of a child, the smile of a dad
The memories of life aren’t always sad
We are programmed to destruct and to sink
While spirits pull us to the brink
We may not see them but they’re there
Always trying to rip and tear
To tear apart our lives and drag us down
With a broken spirit and a depressing frown
How can you spiritually see with carnal eyes
Stop in your race and you might be surprised
The demons are there on every side
They’re always there, you just cant hide
But there is someone on whom you can depend
He’ll be there until the very end
Some call him Jesus
Fight No More
Day to day Walking thru life
Heartache pain trouble and strife
What is it now? can't you see I'm stressed?
How is that? Aren't you blessed?
I am that and so much more,
Then why are you pacing the floor?
Because there is a giant in my way
I feel defeated every passing day
I try to go around but it seems too wide
I try to go over but I forgot, I can't fly
I try to go under but I can't dig
I try to go thru but I don't' have a rig
As I sit here tonight with my head in my hand
Creating the words to convince me I can
How can a man help the whole world but fail in his own life
How can I witness with all this strife
Within myself it'll drive me crazy
Contrary to hear say, I'm not lazy
We have the potential to fight with so much vigor
But then it comes and it's overwhelmingly bigger
We can't go farther till we finish this level
Till the last breath, don't give in to the devil
But I try and I try, And it seems to no end
I can't get a grip as I begin to bend
The question is never about "If I can"
It revolves around the type of man
Deliver me soon so I can reach peace
While this body I still have on lease
Huff and Puff, let him knock on my door
For when Its up I'll fight no more
- JW 6-26-09
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Through My Head
I call him.......... FRIEND.
J.W. 12-07
Fight No More
Day to day Walking thru life
Heartache pain trouble and strife
What is it now? can't you see I'm stressed?
How is that? Aren't you blessed?
I am that and so much more,
Then why are you pacing the floor?
Because there is a giant in my way
I feel defeated every passing day
I try to go around but it seems too wide
I try to go over but I forgot, I can't fly
I try to go under but I can't dig
I try to go thru but I don't' have a rig
As I sit here tonight with my head in my hand
Creating the words to convince me I can
How can a man help the whole world but fail in his own life
How can I witness with all this strife
Within myself it'll drive me crazy
Contrary to hear say, I'm not lazy
We have the potential to fight with so much vigor
But then it comes and it's overwhelmingly bigger
We can't go farther till we finish this level
Till the last breath, don't give in to the devil
But I try and I try, And it seems to no end
I can't get a grip as I begin to bend
The question is never about "If I can"
It revolves around the type of man
Deliver me soon so I can reach peace
While this body I still have on lease
Huff and Puff, let him knock on my door
For when Its up I'll fight no more
- JW 6-26-09
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Through My Head
As I sit here with my head in my hand
I think of my contribution to my fellow man
What did I do, what did I say
Did I help him in every way
Did I reach the lost and comfort their fear
To tell them of Jesus and his coming one year
Reach out to the beggar and give him some bread
To the one that was cold, did I give him a bed
To the addict upon the street, did I give him some hope
To show him that there is life, life without dope
To the drunk in the bar, did I show him the way
To be sober, yes, it is possible day after day
To my brother in the valley fighting a good fight
Did I remind him to simply endure the night
To my sister with no where to turn
Remember that its there where we shall learn
To myself I ask this one thing
Did I do what I could to please my soon coming King
As I get ready to slip off to bed
These are the things going thru my head
- JW 1.23.11
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Endure The Night
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Endure The Night
When trials have us hurting and the valley seems so dry.
We want to laugh but we have to sigh
The pain is more than I can take
because there is so much I have at stake
I lift mine eyes unto the hills and I know its on its way
I refuse to give up is what I tell myself to say
I have to hold to that unchanging hand
For one day I'll be singing in the Heavenly band
There is no weapon which can defeat me here
Gods always been there year after year
And though it may seem as though there is no end in sight
Hold on, HOLD ON and don't give up the fight
For joy comes in the morning
but we must endure the night!
- JW 2.22.11
We want to laugh but we have to sigh
The pain is more than I can take
because there is so much I have at stake
I lift mine eyes unto the hills and I know its on its way
I refuse to give up is what I tell myself to say
I have to hold to that unchanging hand
For one day I'll be singing in the Heavenly band
There is no weapon which can defeat me here
Gods always been there year after year
And though it may seem as though there is no end in sight
Hold on, HOLD ON and don't give up the fight
For joy comes in the morning
but we must endure the night!
- JW 2.22.11
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Show Me A Man
Show me a man with a desire in his heart
Whose determined to do his part
Show me a man with a willingness to submit
To help those around, reminding them not to quit
Show me a man who says it can be done
From the going down or rising of the sun
Show me a man whose made it up in his mind
To go on for Jesus and leave this world behind
Show me a man who is able to hear his call
To refrain from the world and give it his all
Show me a man with a fear and trepidation
A vessel of honor and good reputation
Show me a man for whom God can depend
One that will go, to fix and to mend
Show me a man with a love for truth
A man that can have the heart of Ruth
Show me a man that God can use
And I’ll show you a man that God wont refuse
- JW 1.31.11
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